I wanted to express what I feel. At first, I felt only dumbness — there is so much inside, so much woven and twisted, like in a meat grinder, that nothing coherent can be said.

This is the meat grinder I started to create on canvas. The first layer I painted with my hands. Stirred the paint and smeared the bloody marks with my fingers. Then I recreated the consistency of blood and began to water the canvas so that there were smudges. Somewhere there were words and even my tears. It looked terrible. Just some bloody dud and I’m up to my elbows in blood near to the canvas. But that was not what I wanted to create and say.

The second stage I wanted to add relief, volume and structure. And here the first layer is almost invisible. This structure is like a history — only stepping forward, we can see the links, the plot. And this is an analogy of the layers of the ground.

What about yellow? I wanted to give hope. But I was not completely sure of this hope. I wanted, but I didn’t have the strength to convince even myself. I reasoned and realized that my task as an artist is to create hope, if I really wanted it. If it’s not there now. Someone must, right?

I thought I’d blurt out a strip from above, but this flourish came out. And then the second one, and then I saw flowers in it. And everything worked out.

Whatever the horror, darkness, black blood and pain, life goes on. Everything lays down in layers in the ground and Sunflowers grow. There is hope and there is an inexorable movement of life. This is will pass too, be forgotten, add up and get in touch, whether you like it or not.